


Carpe Diem

by Lira



Category: Star Trek (2009), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-24
Updated: 2011-06-24
Packaged: 2017-10-20 16:38:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/214811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lira/pseuds/Lira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because James Kirk is human, and he will lose him all too soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carpe Diem

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2010 Star Trek ShipWars. Beta'ed by the totally awesome and incredible jaylee_g at LJ, who made my half-Spanish-half-English mess into this ♥.

The thing about James Kirk is that he _is_ James Kirk and Spock can’t do anything against such a truth of the universe.

The problem is really just that one: James Kirk is everything Spock could have ever desired, found or wanted in the universe. He has hidden laughter between his lips ready to spill forth whenever Spock feels downhearted. Has an illogical answer for every one of Spock’s unanswered questions. Has all the emotions that Spock is forced to deny, shining brightly through his eyes under impossibly long lashes.

The space underneath Jim’s arms is the perfect fit for Spock’s body. Jim’s mind is an expanding galaxy that mirrors his own precisely, because they seem to fill each other like two exact halves... Like two pieces of a whole that broke in ancient times, according to both Vulcan and Earth mythology.

James Kirk tastes like memories and oblivion at the same time. His warm pink tongue cleanses the wounds of his spirit, invisible to everyone but him. His rough and firm fingers travel across Spock completely, covering every inch of skin, tearing off the dark places inside of him that are ugly and undesirable only to make him whole again with splendor and light; to forge and shape him into something beautiful that he hadn’t been before, except for the times he’s reflected by his T’hy’la’s eyes.

In Jim’s eyes Spock can only be beautiful.

Spock can’t help but allow himself to be dragged by the current of their lovemaking, by the subtle push of the beating of his agitated heart or the violent dash of his pounding in bed.

He can’t hide anything from James Kirk. He knows him inside and out, in mind and flesh. And even in spite of that, there’s only love in his expression.

For Spock it feels as though there is intense adoration pouring through Jim and into him through the brushing of their mouths. There’s desperation in the skin of his palms. There’s obsession and possession in the cadence of his hips.

So, Spock gives in, easily. He bites his own lips until he bleeds when they make love to kill his protests, and then again when Kirk is sleeping by his side, happy and content, to shut the pain he cannot avoid.

His father has told him it is foolish to choose a human companion. He hasn’t rebuted by reminding him that he did the same thus the sentiment is filled with hypocrisy, because that kind of response would sound all too human and because deep inside he understands the difference between his father and himself. His father is a full Vulcan. He is not. His father had never felt the isolation of being different.

Spock has never belonged to anyone or any place. He has always been unique, and where everybody else says ‘special’ he replies, with his eyes, ‘alone’.

Now Spock has discovered his very own universe, his very own race, his very own home... a sense of belonging unparalleled to anything in his experience. He has a voice that moans his name as if it was the most precious word in existence every night against his body. He has everything he never thought he would or could have, every wish fulfilled. But unfortunately his everything has a metaphorical hourglass tattooed on his chest.

Because James Kirk is human, and he will lose him all too soon. Spock knows only too well that he can’t keep Jim with him forever, because every one of his bouts of laughter and screams of ecstasy are gifts from life that he must learn to make the most of now, while Jim is in his grasp.

 _Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero_ – "Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future," Horace once said. And Spock obeys him every night, in every dark corner he can find, on every shore leave and in every room they sleep in when an alien dignitary from some far away planet insists they spend the night.

Spock will never have enough of James Kirk. Never.

He sinks his fingertips hard on Jim’s smooth tanned skin, as if he wanted to go through the thin layer covering him to touch the heart that lay beneath. Spock fucks him as if they can merge to become one single entity. Tastes every inch of that perfect body with such intensity that any witness would swear his intent was to devour.

Sometimes it happens, just a little. Sometimes he bites him. Hard.

Sometimes he has feverish dreams in which he _does_ swallow Jim’s essence; in which he possesses him fully and the two really do become inseparable, a mesh of tangled minds and joined hearts, where there will never again be any fear or loneliness. And then Jim will belong to him forever, with no fear of death or being left behind lingering over them...

No 'till death do us part' for them.

For now, at least he tries to exhibit this desire through touch. He sinks between Jim’s buttocks as if his very life depended on the act, devouring him bit by bit, bite by bite, scratch by scratch. He drinks in Jim’s mind every time they come together, and usually Jim is too far gone riding the crest of the telepathic orgasm to notice.

Jim laughs and teases Spock for his never ending appetite, but he doesn’t understand (or perhaps he does, Spock can never be too certain if Jim let’s on half as much as he knows) while he kisses him with so much passion they hurt each other with each scrape of their teeth.

Spock never explains outloud what causes him to display such illogical and inappropriate behavior with Jim; a sort of unending _pon farr_ , fierce, unrelenting and always wholly consuming.

James Kirk is human, and Spock will lose him all too soon. Every second by his side is just a little piece of what could be his last chance to love Jim with everything he is, was or will ever be.


End file.
